


The Sickness in the Lies

by N1t3sh4d3



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Autumn Langst Gift Exchange 2018, Garrison trio, Gen, Gift Exchange, Hallucinations, Healing with quintessence, Hurt/Comfort, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Lance (Voltron) Whump, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Langst, Multi, Nightmares, Prophetic Visions, Seizures, Serious Injuries, Sickfic, Temporary Character Death, This is WAY longer than intended, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-07-15 21:23:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 20,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16071626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/N1t3sh4d3/pseuds/N1t3sh4d3
Summary: Lance knows it's not the best idea to hide how sick he is.  The consequences are almost too much. Especially when it affects the ones he cares the most about.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LinaBenliven](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LinaBenliven/gifts).



> This is my gift for [LinaBenliven](https://linabeanwrites.tumblr.com/) as part of the [Langst Autumn Event 2k18](https://langstronevent2k18.tumblr.com/). She requested Hurt/Comfort and Lance dealing with the thought of losing someone because of their injuries, and a happy ending. I hope I got this right. Please enjoy the Angst.
> 
> I have it tagged as ships, but it can be seen as platonic. Depends on your shipping glasses 
> 
> This fic completely ran away from me. It was fun to write, but it ended up a LOT longer than intended. I hope you enjoy it!

               The alarms blared throughout the castle. Lance felt like he had just fallen asleep. Everything hurt. As he sat up, the world spun. That wasn’t good. Lance tried to focus more. The team needed him. He was just feeling so bad because of the training session they had earlier. It was far more rigorous than usual. Yeah, that’s it. He forced himself to get into his armor. The familiar actions helped focus him a bit more. By the time he was running for the command center, he had almost convinced himself it had been the training. There was no way he could afford to be sick. He stumbled a little as he tried to sit down.

 “You okay there Lance?” Shiro’s question made Lance freeze for a second. He didn’t look that bad did he?

 Flashing a bright smile, he sat up straighter, “Never better!”

                Shiro looked uncertain but Allura started briefing them before he could say anything. Lance barely managed to stay focused. He got enough to understand basically what they were doing. Go in, protect the other’s backs, let Pidge and Hunk work their magic, then get out. Then go to bed. He couldn’t wait to get back to bed. If he could just sleep, then he’d feel better.

 He jerked a bit as Keith yelled, “You coming or not Lance?”

 “Of course I am, mullet! What do you think I am a slacker?”

 “Well, if the shoe fits….”

 “Hunk! How could you betray me like that!”

 Hunk just laughed and clapped him on the back. Lance tried not to stumble again, but not being able to keep his balance, he turned it into a jog.

 “Come on slowpokes!”

 Hunk and Keith exchanged a concerned look.

 “Does he seem off to you?”

 “Yeah. I’m not sure what’s up though.” Hunk mused as they got ready to enter the lions.

 

               There were only minor issues with the mission. Pidge needed a bit more time than they had expected. They had to take a different way out. Worst, at least to him, Lance had missed a shot. It was only to trip up a lock that was more metal than interface. That’s why Pidge had needed the extra time. It stubbornly refused to open. Finally, they had both gotten frustrated enough that Lance offered to shoot it. The first shot was a bit too wide and only grazed the side. The next few were dead center. Pidge had looked at him a little oddly, but he cut her off before she could say anything. “Let’s get what we need and out of here. We’re already behind.”

           Once they were done, Lance made sure to keep himself steady as they ran back to the Lions. He also attempted to ignore the uneasy look Pidge had on her face. He tried to throw a smirk at her, but the sound of Sentry footsteps stopped him. They hugged a corner as Lance made sure it was clear. Once the Sentries had passed, they focused on getting to the hangar. The others were already climbing into the Lions when he and Pidge got there.

                Lance heard the clang of the Sentry footsteps again. He checked to see where everyone was. Everyone but Pidge was mostly in their Lions. Pidge still had a few feet to go before she could climb into Green. He dropped to a crouch by a stack of boxes near Blue’s paw. The motion caused another wave of dizziness threaten to overtake him. _Damn it, focus!_ he yelled at himself. Taking a deep, calming breath, he lined up the shot for when the Sentries entered. Carefully, he fired off several blasts. They hit mostly true, four Sentries quickly went down. Lance grumbled a bit. Three of the hits were off of where he had aimed. He had planned all four to be headshots. He only managed one. The others had ranged from the neck and chest. _Damn it!_ Lance threw another glance behind him. Pidge was almost to Green. He fired off several more shots, all that seemed to hit the chests. He was getting frustrated. He SHOULD be able to line these up better.

 “Lance! Everyone is in their Lions. Hurry up and get in Blue!” Shiro’s voice cut through his thoughts.

                He fired a few more times as he ducked into Blue. Once in the cockpit, he collapsed into the pilot’s chair. He closed his eyes for a moment, too tired to berate himself, Blue flew herself to the Castle. Her concern pulsed through the bonds between all of them. As Blue landed, Lance awoke from his impromptu nap. He dragged himself out of Blue, so very ready to go to bed. He frowned as he noticed the others closer to Blue than usual. He pulled his helmet off as he got closer and forced a smile. “I don’t know about you guys, but getting woken up like that just makes me more tired. I’m heading to bed!” He made a show of yawning and waved as he made a quick exit.

 “Something is DEFINITELY off with him today.” Keith’s brows were furrowed apprehension.

 “He normally doesn’t mutter like that. Especially over the comms.” Shiro pointed out, “He seemed off balance as well.”

 Pidge was staring at where Lance had left a few moments ago. ”He was mad because those shots went wide.”

 “What? They hit dead center on the chest!” Keith sounded incredulous.

 “It happened earlier.” Pidge continued, “He was trying to blast that stupid lock. The first shot hit a bit to the right. I’m pretty sure he was going for headshots on those Sentries.”

 Hunk nodded. “Yeah, he said next time we ran into them, he wanted to practice. We should let him rest. He’s been zoning a lot more than usual today and he looks really exhausted. I wonder if he’s sick.”

 “He’d tell us right?” Keith looked insulted at the idea.

 “Would you?” Pidge shot back, turning to look at him.

 Keith held her gaze for a moment, then sighed, “No.”

 “Alright, we’ll let Lance rest. If he’s not better in the morning, we’ll take him to Coran. Right now, we should go debrief the Princess.” The others looked a bit doubtful but nodded and followed Shiro out.


	2. Chapter 2

          Lance made it to his room, the idea of feeling better after a good night's sleep driving him. The thought of taking of his armor off was almost too much to bear. It was far too uncomfortable to consider sleeping in though. He forced himself to pull it off, but left it in a heap on the floor. He finally collapsed onto his bed, falling asleep within a few moments.

           After what felt like only a few minutes, he woke up feeling a million times worse. He was so thirsty. A glass of water, and maybe some food, would help. As he left his room he noted it must be very late, or very early, the lights were dimmed signaling night cycle. He staggered down the hall, feeling like he was on a boat instead of a spaceship, with how often the floor seemed to dip and sway. Suddenly, darkness crept over his vision. As it blurred out, he toppled over. His chest felt tight and the dizziness was enough to make him want to puke. The last thought he had before the darkness claimed him was, "The floor is nice and cool. It's comfortable enough. Guess I'll just stay here for a tick."

 

          Pidge and Hunk had been pouring over the designs they had come up with. It had led to a few arguments about who was right about the specs and why they would work. After the last one, Hunk called a time out. He pointed out that they were both hungry and cranky. Pidge grudgingly agreed as her stomach rumbled. They headed to the kitchen chatting about what sort of flavoring they could possibly add to the food goo. As they rounded the corner to the kitchen, Pidge tripped a bit. Hunk grabbed her arm to keep her from falling.

 "What the hell? Who left-" Pidge glanced down and stopped dead. Hunk followed her gaze and froze. Lance was splayed out on the floor, gasping slightly, his breath rattling. "Lance! Is he okay?"

           Hunk dropped to his knees and touched Lance's shoulder, suddenly recoiling. "He's burning up! Go find Coran!" Hunk scooped Lance's limp body and headed for the med bay. Pidge's face was fearful but determined, as she whirled around quickly, going back to where they had passed Coran a few ticks ago. The shouting brought Shiro and Keith running. They caught sight of Hunk carrying something and followed him. Coran and Pidge arrived just after them. Hunk laid Lance down and Coran set to work checking him over.

 "What happened?"

 "We were heading to the kitchen when we tripped over him. He was just-"

 Hunk cut Pidge off. "This is bad, He's burning up! I knew he was sick! He was laying in the middle of the hall! How long was he there? What if we hadn't come along?"

 "Hunk breathe. It'll be okay. Coran?"

 "Well, Number Three has a dreadful infection. Nothing that we need to be worry about! We'll just pop him into the cryopod for a few varga and he'll be as fresh as a waking kwamzo!"

 

  
Lance woke up freezing. As he fell forward, strong arms stopped him. He opened his eyes in a bleary panic. He was staring down into worried amber eyes, as what he recognized to be Hunk's arm, braced him up.

          "Are you feeling better?" Pidge sounded so upset it made Lance's breath catch. He nodded slightly and tried to smile, but the bleariness of waking from the cryopod was getting to him. Hunk had been looking down and helped pull him up all the way. "I think it's time to get you back to bed. You look pretty woozy."

          Lance tried to agree, but it seemed to take too much effort. Hunk wrapped his arm around Lance's waist, making sure he was steady, then slung Lance's arm over his shoulders. Lance was grateful. He wasn't sure he could stand on his own right now, let alone walk. He was a little surprised when Pidge did the same on the other side. He sagged a bit, leaning on them more. He didn't remember being this drained last time he came out of a pod. They walked slowly to his room, having to pause a few times. Lance was irritated. Why did he feel so miserable still? He hadn't realized that they had reached his room until he felt Pidge let go and Hunk gently lowering him onto his bed.

          "Do you need anything? Water?" Pidge ran off to get a water packet when he gave a tiny nod. Hunk helped him cover up, then fiddled with something that beeped. Lance was having trouble keeping his eyes open. Pidge was suddenly there with the water. He began to drink, even before Hunk’s warning to take it slow had finished, he stopped. His stomach roiled, protesting the liquid. What the hell was wrong with him? He faintly heard Pidge and Hunk talking, but couldn't make out any details as he drifted back to sleep.

          Hunk bit his lip, anxiety sending fear rippling through him. The scanner had shown Lance still had a fever and an infection. He caught Pidge's anxious face and sighed. He really didn't want to tell her. She had been frightened the whole time Lance was in the cryopod, some of it had been understandable, but some didn't seem to fit.

"Hunk?" Pidge asked nervously. Hunk had been deep in anxious thought for several minutes. It set her on edge. Lance was already asleep. People were usually tired after the pods but not this bad. Was something still wrong?

          Hunk started to smile then thought better of it. He steeled himself for her reaction. "He's still running a fever." The frightened look returned to Pidge's face. "It shows that he still has that infection. I need to get Coran. We probably should have had Coran check him as soon as he got out of the pod."

 

          Pidge was terrified. They had always assumed the pod healed everything. There must have been an error. Lance would be fine, right? She heard Hunk start to panic so she shoved her own fears down. "Hunk, it's okay. He would have insisted he was fine and tried to walk here alone. It's better that we were with him. Go get Coran. I'll stay here."

Hunk nodded weakly. He knew Pidge was right. Lance was just stubborn like that. Coran would have answers! Hunk held that hope close as he left to find the Altean.

          Pidge sat down on the edge of Lance's bed. He was so still. Her mind flashed back to when Sendak had infiltrated the ship. He had been just as still, he was dying then. Was he that sick? Had he fallen into a coma somehow? She placed her hand on his chest, reassured that it was still moving. He mumbled and shifted a bit. Relief flooded through her. He was breathing and able to respond to her touch. He couldn't be that sick then! She kept telling herself that. Coran would have answers.

Hunk arrived a few moments later, Coran in tow. Coran checked over Lance, frowning. "The pod shouldn't have let him out unless he was completely healed. This shouldn't have happened."

"The Castle trying to kill us a few days ago shouldn't have happened either, but it did! So what can we do, Coran?" Hunk snapped.

"How bad is it?" Pidge’s timid question gave them pause.

          Coran shook his head. "I'm not sure. It shows he still has an infection. It's not as bad as it was, but I don't know how it will affect him. His temperature is still high as well. He shouldn't go any missions until he's healed all the way. I'll let the Princess, Number 1 and Number 4 know. We can try the pods again in the morning. You two should get some rest." He knew they would just camp out in Lance's room. Coran was not happy about this. The pods _should_ have noted that Lance was still sick. He decided to go check on the pods before speaking to the others.

          Hunk looked despondent after Coran left. Pidge decided that cheering him up was a better idea than thinking about everything. "Hey Hunk, how about a sleepover? I know you want to stay close just in case Lance needs us." Hunk nodded, still looking a bit lost. "Do you want me to grab some blankets?" Pidge didn't want to leave, but she understood Hunk's need to stay close. He had already been the one to get Coran. She was already heading out the door when he finally nodded. "I'll be right back."

          Hunk almost didn't notice Pidge leave, He did see how Lance whined a bit at the loss of contact. He sat on the edge of the bed that Pidge had just vacated. He couldn't remember Lance being this pale. Okay, not true. After Sendak's first attack, he was this pale. Hunk started brushing Lance's hair away from his forehead. Lance sighed quietly. At least he was reacting and not burning up like he had been before. He was still too warm, but they could deal with that. Hunk was more concerned that the pod hadn't worked properly. Lance should have been healed all the way. If it was glitching on an infection, what would happen with something more serious?

          Pidge got back before he could dwell on that thought too long. He helped Pidge place pillows and blankets into a sort of nest on the floor. It looked doubtful either of them would get much sleep, but at least they could be comfortable. They curled up as close as they could to each other and the side of the bed, keeping Lance within reach.


	3. Chapter 3

          Coran was perplexed. The pods read that Lance had been healed all the way. The scanner told a different story. When he started combing through the data, he noticed a glaring discrepancy. That particular pod was still set to Altean physiology. He pulled up the one that Lance had occupied last time, after Rover... Coran shook his head a bit. Not the time to think about it. He compared the scans between the two pods and the scanner. The settings for Alteans was part of the problem. The other was that it looked as if there was another infection that they had originally missed. All they would have to do now is put him in the right pod. He made a note to reprogram several of the other pods for human physiology as he went to inform the Princess and the others.

 

          Allura was awoken by the mice chittering at her with concern. As she tried to sort through what they were saying, she heard a knock on her door. It was no surprise to find Coran there, although he looked grim. The surprise was Shiro and Keith standing with him. "Is everything alright?" She asked cautiously, dread pooling in her stomach.

"I'm afraid that Lance is rather ill."

"But he was put into a pod? It should have healed him."

"The pod he was put into was set for Alteans, not human. It didn't catch... all of the problems."

"All of them?"

          Shiro spoke up,"It looks like somewhere along the line, his appendix burst. We need to get it out of him and treat the infection. It can be deadly. The pod looks like it took care of a large part of the infection. But from the scans Coran showed us, he's going to need some surgery to remove it and either antibiotics or more time in the pod."

"We have to be careful about using the pods so close together. There can be... consequences," Coran and Allura exchanged a sad look before Coran continued, "Now what's this about surgery to remove this appendix thing?"

          Shiro looked a bit uncomfortable. "Usually, the best way to remove the damaged organs or disease tissue affecting them is to remove them. We have to make incisions to help reach the areas. Then the tissue or organ is removed and the patient is stitched back up. It can take a few weeks to heal, depending on the type of surgery. With your technology it should help speed the process up."

Coran and Allura looked a bit taken aback and Keith just shrugged. “I’ve had the surgery before. It’s not that bad. The healing time is the worst part.”

“You use _stitches_? How old fashioned! I’ve only read about those!” Allura was partially fascinated and partially repulsed.

          "We may have a way to help then. If someone was able to explain what we were looking for and about antibiotics. The pods will help with some of this. He just won't be able to stay in them very long. How quickly do we need to do all this?"

          Shiro and Keith checked the scanner that Coran handed them and Shiro answered, "It looks like his white blood cell count is down. That could mean he's not fighting the infection as well as he could be. For now he seems alright. Why?"

"He was asleep when Hunk brought me in. He and Pidge were very distressed. This will not sit well with either of them. I would like to let them rest."

          Shiro looked like he wanted to argue, so Allura asked, "Perhaps we could ask the mice to keep an eye on them. If Lance seems to worsen, they can alert me and we can begin this process." The mice appeared to readily agree. That appeased both Shiro and Coran. "We should try to get some rest ourselves. Tomorrow will most likely be difficult for all of us."

Keith and Shiro nodded. Keith threw Shiro a troubled look as they bid everyone goodnight and left. Allura knew they weren't going to be sleeping anytime soon. Lance had them too worried. She turned to Coran, "I think this is more serious than they are letting on."

          "Pidge and Hunk's reactions will be a better indicator. I have already calibrated several of the pods for the Paladins, so we shouldn't have this issue again. Once he's in the pod, we'll get a better idea of what is going on. Do you think they are susceptible to Cryosickness? Their systems are so fragile and that is so dangerous.”

          "If what Shiro and Keith have said is correct, leaving it be is far more dangerous. Perhaps, if we can learn about these antibiotics, we can find a way to use them instead. I'd rather not risk it, but the pods may be the only way to save Lance. We can only rest ourselves and tried to be prepared for anything tomorrow. Coran, promise me you will sleep."

"Of course. I've done all I can now. Just be sure to alert me if the mice find anything," Platt chittered at him indignantly, "Alright then, I may not be as close to you as Allura, but I can understand that. Goodnight, Princess."

Allura watched as Coran left, Platt perched on his shoulder. She laid down but doubted sleep would come for her anytime soon.


	4. Chapter 4

          Coran knocked on the door to Lance’s room. After a few moments of no answer and trying once more, Coran slipped into the room. He was greeted by the sight of Hunk and Pidge tangled together, sound asleep. Pidge was holding onto Lance’s hand, which dangled over the side of the bed, like it was a lifeline. Lance was still very pale but looked content. Coran was loathe to wake them, but the sooner they took care of Lance the better. Crouching down next to Hunk, Coran gently shook him, the movement rousing Pidge as well. They both blinked at him blearly.

          He said quietly, “I know you are both still tired, but we have to move Lance to the infirmary.” After a moment they nodded and untangled themselves. Once Pidge reluctantly let go of Lance’s hand, he began shifting uncomfortably, his brows furrowing in displeasure. Coran kept an eye on him while Hunk and Pidge rushed to get ready.

          Once they were done, Hunk carefully picked Lance up and headed to the infirmary. He winced a bit, noting that Lance was burning up again. As they walked in, Pidge and Hunk paused, noting everyone else was there. They exchanged a glance as Pidge asked warily, “Is everything alright?”

          Allura’s expression flickered for a moment. It was enough to clue them into the fact, that no, things really weren’t. Hunk narrowed his eyes and held Lance closer. Pidge unconsciously slid in front of Hunk, blocking him from the others. Hunk curtly said, “I don’t think putting him in a pod again is a good idea. He may wake up in even worse shape. Or maybe just dead.”

Shiro tried to placate them. “It’s okay. We’re just as worried about Lance as you are. We need to check him again. Something showed on the last scan you and Coran did.”

          Cautiously, Hunk laid Lance down on a bed. The two of them took up, almost defensive, positions next to him. Coran stepped over and began scanning Lance again. His face tightened as he went over the results. Shiro and Keith came a bit closer to check them with Coran, as Hunk demanded, “What’s going on? You guys know something and you aren’t telling us!”  

Pidge glared at them. “You know we aren’t dumb. If you don’t tell us, we’ll just find out for ourselves! I know you think I’m terrible with people but-”

“Pidge! Hunk! It’s okay! We don’t think you’re dumb. We just wanted to be sure of what was happening,” Shiro rubbed the bridge of his nose as they quieted down, still scowling at him, “Coran can explain the rest.”

          To his credit Coran didn’t waver as two infuriated gazes locked onto him. “The particular pod Lance was put in was still set for Alteans, not humans. According to that setting, Lance was fine. The scan Hunk originally showed me was obviously very different. It showed he was mostly healed but still had a minor infection. Shiro and Keith were explaining about the appendix bursting? And something about antibiotics? Still not too sure about what those are. They were also telling us about your primitive ways of surgery.”

At that color drained from both of their faces.

“His appendix burst? Why did you let us sleep all night! We need to get him back into a pod right now!” Hunk moved to scoop Lance up, but Keith’s hand on his arm stopped him.

“Look, I know you guys are really worried. We didn’t do anything last night because his readings were acceptable. Also, from what I understand, we can’t use the pods this close together. It can make things a lot worse,” Shiro cautiously choosing his words.

Pidge swallowed hard, “How bad is it?”

          “His white blood cell count is low, so it’s not fighting the infection as well as it should be. If we can get him operated on and some decent antibiotics, he should be fine though,” Shiro tried.

“No,” she growled. ”How bad would it be to put him in a pod again?”

Allura stepped forward at everyone else’s uncomfortable silence. “There is a high risk of cryosickness for anyone that uses the pods again so soon after. It has incapacitated many Alteans. I don’t know how your bodies would react to it.”

          “There is a very high chance it would be fatal. Once we do this operation, we can put Lance in for a few doboshes, but not much longer than that. It should heal him some, but he will require rest and some time to heal naturally.” Coran had been watching Hunk and Pidge carefully. With this information, they just sagged.

          “Alright, Coran. We have some work to do. I can explain antibiotics and we can figure out something from there,” Hunk drew himself up with a determined look. “How soon do we have before we need to do the surgery?”

“Not too long. He looks like he’s getting worse.”

“Maybe the surgery should be first. If we’re going to get him in the pod for a bit, we can use that time to go over things.”

“Now, can anyone help me with what exactly I’m looking for?”

Hunk turned a bit green. Pidge finally volunteered, “I still have mine. If you can do a scan I can point it out from there.” Coran nodded, as the others took their leave.

 

          They followed Hunk to the kitchen, where he started some breakfast as anxious, frustrated energy poured off him. No one really knew what to say. They were used to seeing him agitated, but not angry. Pidge walked in a few minutes later and looked at Allura.

“Coran wanted your help,” she said flatly. Allura nodded meekly and left quickly.

          Shiro and Keith shared a look of concern. Pidge and Hunk were still on edge. “Coran and Allura will make sure he’s going to be fine,” Keith insisted. He didn’t really know how to help, they had a right to be angry. If it had been Shiro, he would have wanted to be told right away.

Pidge and Hunk both sent him a glare that would have choked the life out of him, if looks could do that. He took a small step back and leaned against the wall.

          Shiro just sighed. “I understand why you are both angry. This is the best way we were able to help. If we had tried last night, it could have been a disaster. We were all overtired from that mission and Coran had been up for longer than us. This way, we gave Lance the best shot at getting better quickly.”

          Pidge still glared at him but some of the fire had gone out of it. Now she just looked scared as her gaze dropped. Hunk stopped what he was mixing, but didn’t look up. “Do you think he’ll be alright? This cryosickness thing sounds really bad. I’m not sure I know enough to help Coran with the antibiotics. I mean I have a base knowledge. I know some herbs that can help, but I’m not sure there is anything like that out here.” Hunk’s voice started to shake. Pidge reached over and gave him a hug.

          “You’ll do fine. I have some medical stuff on my computer. I’m sure there’s something about it,” she started to rub circles on his back she looked up at Shiro and Keith, voice still hard. “I still think it was a bad idea. You guys know how dangerous it is to let that go. But I do see the reasons for waiting. We need to check that information out Hunk. You ready now or after we eat?”

“I’m not hungry anymore. Let’s go,” Hunk mumbled as he left with Pidge.

 

Keith scowled at Shiro after they left. “You know those readings weren’t good. It would have been better to handle it when we found out.”

          Shiro shook his head. “You saw how bad Hunk and Pidge were. If we had hit them with that last night, Hunk would have broken down and Pidge…. I’m not sure how well she would have taken it. Matt spent weeks healing from his and she was a mess. Hunk would have just blamed himself for not noticing. Looking back, Lance had been complaining about his side after training yesterday morning and that his stomach was bothering him at lunch. It’s possible he had some of the less common symptoms. I only pushed it back by a few hours. Hours that people desperately needed for sleep. The pod must have healed a good portion of it. The readings were closer to it just having ruptured. Not a day later.”

Allura came back interrupting the debate, “I believe we are done. Coran needs to talk with Hunk. I thought he would be here? Or he still with Pidge?”

“I’ll see if I can find them.” Keith threw one more dark look at Shiro as he pushed off the wall and left.

Shiro watched him leave as Allura asked, “Is everything alright?”

“It will be. Let’s go see about getting Lance into that pod.”


	5. Chapter 5

          Once everyone gathered in the infirmary, Coran explained Lance would only be able to stay in the pod for about 3 varga. He wasn’t too sure how much that would help heal Lance. He also cautioned them to keep an eye out for cryosickness. Hunk and Shiro got Lance into the pod. Once the it sealed, Hunk and Pidge turned their backs on Shiro and Keith. They started talking to Coran about medicine, going over what little information they had between Pidge’s computer and Hunk’s knowledge. Keith crept closer and offered his experiences quietly. Eventually, he was warily let into the small group.

  
          Shiro headed to the training room. Knocking around some bots seemed like the best idea right now. He set it to level five and started the training, his mind wandering. They were all so upset with him right now. He understood, but he saw how shaky Coran had been. The poor man had been up for at least two days. Hunk and Pidge were running on their usual three hours of sleep. Keith had been talking with him just before Lance had been found. He knew that neither Keith or himself had gone to bed after the mission and had been up since early that morning. Was it the right call to wait? Doubts started to creep over him. The next bot landed a hit that took him by surprise. He quickly focused on the routine and after the last bot crumpled, he stood there panting. 

Keith spoke up, almost causing him to jump. “Coran says that we have to get Lance out in about a varga. You should probably wash up.”  
  
“Is everyone still upset at my call?” Shiro didn’t bother to look up. Keith’s tone said enough.  
  
          Keith heaved a sigh, “Now that everyone has calmed down a bit and Lance is healing, we get it. I know it was a tough one, but it took us by surprise. I guess we were worried what kind of call you would be willing to make in other circumstances.” At the hurt look on Shiro’s face, Keith added, “That was well before anyone was thinking rationally. Allura and Coran helped us understand too. I didn’t realize Coran had been up so long. I figured Pidge and Hunk were running on just a few hours."  
  
Shiro nodded a bit and clapped Keith on the shoulder as he walked past to hit the showers and change. Lance would need them.  
  


          Lance was disoriented when he opened his eyes. He heard people talking but couldn't quite make out what they were saying. He felt a bit better. Not fantastic, but better. He felt arms holding him up. Blinking rapidly he was able to focus a bit better. Hunk and Shiro were holding him up. He was sagging like a sack of potatoes. He struggled to stand up but a sharp pain caused him to cry out a bit, followed by a wave of nausea. Hunk sounded like he was saying something but Lance couldn't focus on the words. They were just a garbled mess. Shiro and Hunk finally steered him to a bed, where they helped lay him down. The world spun again. He felt a few sharp pinches in his arm. Soon, his head cleared a little.

          Coran was looking him over with a scanner, the others looking jittery. Coran noticed his attention, "Ah! Feeling better Number 3? You gave us quite the scare. But we should have you back to normal in a few quintents!" At his confused expression Coran continued, "Nothing to worry about my boy! Now, can you tell me how you feel?"

          Lance licked his lips and tried to speak but his throat was far too dry. Pidge suddenly appeared with a water pouch for him. He knew enough to sip it slowly and gave Pidge a flat look when she tried to remind him. That got a smile out of her. She took it away after a few sips and he tried again. "I feel a bit better? Still kind of fuzzy. It's hard to focus on anything too long."

          Coran nodded, looking thoughtful. "Let me know if that gets any worse. You'll have to rest here for the rest of today. We need to get these antibiotics into you." At his surprised expression Coran chuckled. "Hunk and Pidge helped me to understand what they are. We had something similar, so it was a simple matter of adjusting the dose correctly. I'm fairly sure we have it right. We went with a lower dose just to be sure. We didn't want to overload your system."  
  
Lance nodded slightly as he closed his eyes. He was suddenly really tired, which was weird because he figured he had come out of a pod again. He heard talking again, but the voices drifted away.  
  
The others watched quietly as Coran explained to Lance, until he fell asleep. Coran moved closer to them, still looking thoughtful.  
  
"We'll definitely have to keep an eye on him. He's showing some signs of cryosickness."

"It could be just because his body is having to shift to a normal healing, since he's out of the pod and still sick." Pidge pointed out hopefully.

          Coran only nodded but Shiro and Allura exchanged a worried look. Shiro attempted to sound optimistic. “Just to be sure, we should keep an eye out for the symptoms. Fever, hallucinations, having trouble thinking straight or shaky limbs. If it’s going to hit, it should be fairly soon.”

“Oh that will be easy. You know how simple it is to get him to talk. We should just lock him in the medbay,” Hunk grumbled.

“I’m staying here for now.” Pidge opened her laptop and plopped down in the chair next to Lance’s bed, promptly ignoring everyone.

          Allura took that cue to usher everyone else out. They needed to come up with plans for the various levels of cryosickness. Humans were so much frailer than Alteans. She and Coran were seriously concerned that even a mild case would be fatal. She hoped that this was an extremely weak case and it wouldn’t last.

 

Lance was dreaming. At least he thought he was. He was back at the Garrison with Hunk and Pidge. They had just aced the simulator and were having a celebratory snack in the cafeteria.

 

_Suddenly, the garish, violet light of Galra weapons lit the hall. People were running and screaming. The three of them grabbed their bayards and charged headfirst into the battle. Shiro and Keith would be there to back them up soon enough. Wait. They didn’t have their bayards at the Garrison did they? As soon as that thought crossed his mind, Hunk’s bayard disappeared. Hunk looked so confused, then horrified. As Lance watched, one of those horrible, violet bolts went right through Hunk. A bright red began spreading across his chest as he slowly collapsed onto the ground. Lance dropped his gun, fell to his knees and held Hunk close, unable to remember even the most basic of first aid. Pidge yelled a warning as another bolt headed right for them. Pidge managed to block it for him, as she raced over to help with Hunk. As soon as she began moving, a bolt went through her back and out of her chest, exactly where her heart was. She flopped forward on the ground like a broken doll. Lance screamed in anguish, not caring if he got hit._

 

          Suddenly, there were hands on him. No! He had to keep Hunk safe! He had to get to Pidge! After a hard shake he opened his eyes and wondered who was screaming. Pidge was looking very pale and shaking a little. He sat up, hugging her close and bawling so hard, it was almost impossible to understand. “You’re, you're alright! I-I was so…” Pidge held him gently and tried to lay him down. He didn’t want to let go. If he did, it would mean she was dead. That Hunk- “Hunk! I’m so- sorry Pid-dge. I-I-I couldn’t, couldn’t protect...him. I made him lose his bayard! He’s..he’s-”

“He’s fine. I’m right here Lance. It was a nightmare. Everyone is fine,” Hunk’s soothing voice washed over him.

Lance collapsed onto the bed, almost dragging Pidge with him. Sobs wracked his body. It had been so real. The coppery tang of blood. The heat from the blasts. The slickness of his hands. The echo of the fighting.

          Pidge ran her hand through his hair while Hunk dried his eyes. After what felt like forever, he finally managed to calm down. He was drained, but oddly, felt better. He must have dozed off, because he was surprised when his eyes fluttered open again. Pidge still had a hand in his hair, laying over the side of the bed, asleep. Hunk was passed out in a chair on the other side, his large hand resting gently on Lance’s forearm. Lance’s gaze slid over to where he caught movement out of the corner of his eye.

Coran was muttering to himself, looking very displeased, as he scrolled through the console. He grabbed a scanner, turning to Lance’s bed. He brightened a bit once he noticed Lance’s eyes on him.

“Ah good! You’re awake! How are you feeling?” Coran scanned him, relaxing minutely when he read the results. “It looks like you have improved a great deal already. It’s almost time for your medicine!”

“Coran, I already told you, he needs to eat something first,” Hunk mumbled, heavy with sleep, only proving he wasn’t completely awake yet.

Lance chuckled a bit at it, wincing a bit at his dry throat. Coran handed him a water pouch and helped him sit up a bit. The movement woke Hunk and Pidge all the way, who looked thrilled that he was awake.

“You look like you’re feeling better!”

He considered the question, brow furrowing, “I am? I think. What happened? I remember the mission, not feeling too well and waking up really cold.”

“You had a really high fever. It looks like your appendix burst. How long were you feeling sick?” Hunk demanded.

          Lance looked at him blankly, “What?? But I wasn’t in any serious pain! That’s supposed to be unbearable! You know I’m not good with pain! I mean, yeah my side hurt after training but I know I took a few good hits, just like everyone else. I felt worse after the mission but I went to sleep that off. I guess I kicked off the covers?”

Pidge shook her head in amazement, “No, you doofus! You left your room and collapsed in the middle of the hall after the mission! We almost tripped over you!”

          “Well, the pod healed me so what’s the problem?” Lance moved to get up when the world tilted and spun. He laid back down scowling, “Did the pods heal me?” Horror crept across his face, “Did you even put me in the pods? Am I dying? I know you only get so long before-”

“Lance! It’s okay! We did put you in a pod. It helped. There was a glitch... that’s all.” Pidge attempted to calm him down, but he looked absolutely panicked as soon as she mentioned the glitch.

          Coran smoothly stepped in, “The pod you were put in this time was still set for an Altean. It did heal you a great deal. However, it thought you were fully healed and let you out a bit too early. The minor infection you had is completely gone. This appendix thing seems like it was mostly healed as well. From what I understand, it was supposed to be a great deal worse.” Lance seemed to calm down at that, but his frown deepened.

Coran knew this was going to be the part they were all dreading. How much would he hide from now on?

          Putting on a comforting smile, he continued, “Since the pod missed the more important problem, we had to act. The others informed us that the best way to take care of you was surgery. We were able to remove that appendix thingy. The unfortunate part, we were only able to put you into a cryopod for a shorter time. There is a high risk of cyrosickness, if the pods are used too close together. It has been fatal to many Alteans. King Groggery the Infirm was the most famous example! He lost all use of his legs and caught every sickness, no matter how minor. He was bedridden for most of his reign. Only started to lose his mind near the end.”

 

          Lance started to panic again. Was he going to get worse? Was he going to lose his mind? He didn’t think he could handle being bedridden. How would he fly Blue? Would they even need him? Suddenly, dark eyes were peering into his. "What Coran is trying to say is that the cryosickness would have been a bigger problem, if we had left you in the pods too long. We only let you stay in there for a few doboshes. Now we need to give you some antibiotics. We were able to find something similar, once we explained it to Coran," Hunk said calmly, throwing a quick glare at Coran.  
  
Coran cleared his throat, "Ah yes! Your antibiotics are so unusual! We made enough so that you should be better in no time!"

Lance looked at them like they were all nuts. "Then why tell me about cryosickness and all the horrible things it can do to you?"  
  
"On the slight chance you did get it of course! No way of knowing how your fragile little bodies would handle it!"  
  
"We have GOT to work on your tact Coran," Pidge snapped.

          Lance simply shook his head. This was all too much. Hunk looked into his eyes again, taking Lance's face between his hands. "You're going to be fine. Coran was trying to warn you what we are keeping an eye out for, so you wouldn't be surprised if we started to ask you things. We're fairly sure you'll be fine. But, you HAVE to tell us if anything doesn't feel right. Now, let's take a look at that incision. Coran's going to give you the antibiotics now too."  
  
Lance felt the prick of a needle as the antibiotics were injected in. Pidge took a quick look at the incision, since Hunk started looking a bit squeamish. Pidge smiled at Lance, “It's healing pretty well. Looks like you may have only a small scar.”  
  
"Hey, no fair! How are you only going to end up with a small scar? I ended up with a big one because of an infection," Keith grumped as he walked in with Shiro.  
  
"He looks a lot healthier than you did too. Coran said it should only take a few quientent for you to be up and moving again," Shiro smirked.  
  
"What?! I had to suffer through six weeks!"

  
          Everyone laughed at Keith's indignation. Pidge was keeping an eye on Lance and saw the tiredness creep across his face. His eyes unfocused for a moment. Trying to keep her voice steady she asked, "You doing okay there Lance?"

Lance flashed her a quick smile, "I'm fine. Just a bit tired. No need to worry, Pidgey."  
  
          She glowered at the nickname and could see the resolve in his face harden. He was going to try to keep secrets from them. Pidge shot a quick look around and saw the others had noticed it too. This was going to be harder than they were hoping for. Lance's eyes started to droop and his breathing evened out. Pidge motioned for the others to gather around near the far wall.  
  
"He's going to keep secrets," Keith's voice dripped with displeasure.

"He also had a very realistic nightmare. He could barely talk after it. He was convinced Hunk and I were dead," Pidge added. "This is going to be tough."  
  
"The best we can do is watch closely and try to stay with him," Shiro said sadly.  
  
Hunk threw them a disbelieving look. "That's going to be next to impossible! He likes his privacy. He'll get mad we're babysitting him. It'll just make him close off more. We have to figure out a better way to do this."

They all nodded in agreement as they watched Lance sleep. 


	6. Chapter 6

          Lance was getting annoyed. It had only been a few days since Coran decided he was well enough to stay in his room. Everyone else was sticking close to him and always asking if he was doing alright. He was fine. So what if he lost focus sometimes? So what if his muscles spasmed occasionally? So what if the nightmares were so vivid he woke up completely confused? It had only happened while he was awake once. If he mentioned it they would all worry. They wouldn't let him pilot Blue! Besides, it was getting better. 

          He headed over to the kitchen, stopping momentarily when he saw a huge mess. Food goo was splattered all over the room. Hunk was sitting calmly at the counter, stirring a bowl of something. Lance pinched his arm. This had to be a hallucination. Hunk would never be this calm if the kitchen looked like that! He drew in a hiss as he let go and blinked rapidly. The mess was still there, but now Hunk was looking concerned. Lance just smiled weakly, "I was just so surprised to see you sitting so calmly in this big of a mess."  
  
Hunk tilted his head to the side, looking even more concerned. Now Lance was really afraid. If he had made the wrong call and this really was a hallucination, then he just gave it away. Then Hunk looked around. Lance deflated in relief as recognition flashed across Hunk's face.  
  
"Oh yeah. I was trying to ignore it and hoped it would go away. Pidge wanted to help with dinner and well....it exploded. I was trying to get something else made and then if it hadn't vanished, I was going to clean."  
  
Lance laughed at that. Only Hunk would actually believe that ignoring a problem would make it go away. "Do you want some help there buddy? I came down for a snack, but if dinner will be ready soon, I'll just wait."  
  
Hunk looked at him from the corner of his eye. "You sure you're up for it?"  
  
Lance's face dropped into a deep frown. "Yes Hunk. For the tenth time today, I. Feel. Fine."  
  
Hunk held his hands up in surrender. "Sorry. I'm just really worried about you. Coran really scared me with all that cryosickness talk. I know you'd tell me if you weren't feeling well."  
  
Lance hid a wince at that by grabbing a rag and starting to clean. He couldn't worry Hunk more. He was fine. 

 

They got the kitchen clean and just as dinner was being set out, Pidge p eeked in, looking contrite. "Is it okay for me to come in?"

Hunk rolled his eyes while sighing, "Just don't blow anything else up."

Pidge entered but her eyes were shimmering, "I'm sorry Hunk. I know you said to be careful of the spices. How was I supposed to know those two would make an explosion?”

“Maybe because I told you?”

Pidge looked sheepish, “I’m really sorry. I know you were trying to teach me.” 

Hunk was stoneface, “Don’t ask for help if you don’t want to listen. This is no place to be goofing around. You need to treat it like your lab.”

Lance saw Pidge try to force her tears back. He wrapped her in a hug. “Hunk, go easy on her. You know she failed Chem at the Garrison. What made you think she’d be good at cooking?”

A muffled yell of indignation came from his chest as he and Hunk exchanged grins.

“True. I’m not sure what I was thinking.”

Pidge shoved away from Lance, glaring holes into them, the cutest expression he had ever seen on her face. “Fine! I won’t try to apologize next time! Maybe I should make sure I blow it up better next time!”

At Hunk’s wide eyed look of horror, Lance jumped in, “Awwww Pidgey, don’t be like that. Hunk’s just grumpy we had to clean.” He wrapped her in another hug and felt her relax a bit.

          Hunk merely smirked at him as he left with the plates. Lance just shrugged, feeling mildly confused. He let go of Pidge, noting how red her face was. Had he pressed her too close to his chest this time? He was about to ask Pidge if she was alright when she pushed away and cleared her throat.

"Let's move it! I don't want everyone else to finish the food!” she threw over her shoulder as she darted out the door.

 

Lance sauntered out, a bemused smile on his face. Pidge was already eating and talking to Keith. It was nice. Everyone was relaxed and joking around. It was like being at home. Lance didn't notice his focus slipping, until the world went hazy.

 

_ Fire raged all around the dining room, smoke making the details to become indistinct. Blaster fire crisscrossed the room. He looked up from where he had been crouching. He heard grunts of struggle and pain. _

_           A lump on the floor blocked his view. He crawled forward to get a better perspective. He saw Keith, in his normal clothes, locked in combat with a... Galra? It was hard to see through the haze. He reached for his bayard, activating it and leaning forward to aim better. Keith looked like he really needed help.  _

_           As he shifted his weight, his knee slid slightly faster and sent him off balance. He glanced down to see what sort of food, or drink, was creating the issue and almost threw up. Hunk was in a huge puddle of blood, a large blast through his back and a look of surprise frozen on his lifeless face. Coran was sprawled out next to him, a gaping hole in his side.  _

_           Horrified, Lance tried to turn away, only for the shapes around him solidify. Allura, crumpled in the corner, almost sheared in half. Shiro laying not far from her, a blast charing his shirt, right where his heart was. Pidge, getting run through by a glowing sword. A hoarse scream tore from him as he fumbled with his blaster, desperately trying to line up a shot. Any shot. _

 

Hands were on him. As he jerked away he snapped back to himself. Everyone was wearing similarly concerned expressions. Shiro and Keith were holding him up, which was a good thing, considering how badly his legs were shaking.The amount of uneasiness pouring from the two of them was palpable.

“Are you alright Lance? You came in and almost collapsed.” 

Lance tried to suppressed a shudder as the hallucination overlaid the faces around him, not sure who asked the question. He shook his head, mumbling, "I don't feel so well. I need to lay down," as another burst of adrenaline helped him race back to his room.

 

Pidge broke the awkward silence by studying Shiro for a few moments, before pointing out, "Lance looked like Shiro does, when he has a flashback. No offence Shiro."

Shiro's mouth snapped shut at everyone else's murmurs of agreement. Swallowing a bit at how much that threw him off, he tried keep his voice steady, "It couldn't have been a flashback. Maybe a hallucination?"

"Is there anything we can do? If it’s already this bad…” Hunk started to wring his hands and pace about. 

          "If they are that realistic, we may need to change our tactics," Coran mused, stroking his moustache. "There are ways to suppress the hallucinations. We can give him some calming medications or sedate him fully. There may be a way to alter the brain impulses to a more manageable wavelength. It all depends on how the mind works. Given what I have seen, you humans appear to be on the more realistic end." 

"Yeah, our minds like to point things out in vivid detail. It's not always a good thing."  Hunk agreed, “Mine is always reminding me of the worst things.”

          "What if you scanned a normal resting brain, then compared it to an active one? Then we can compare it Lance's? That should give us a better starting point. I don't think any of us want to sedate him fully, if we can avoid it." Pidge said thoughtfully.

"Okay, that takes care of the hallucinations, what about other symptoms he's probably hiding from us?" Keith demanded, arms crossed over his chest and scowl firmly in place. 

          "We need to get the hallucinations under control before we do anything else. Pidge, Hunk, why don't you help Coran set the scans up? We'll all take a turn. It won't hurt to have a baseline scan of all of us on record." Shiro directed, glad things were in more familiar territory.

Allura had been looking thoughtful the whole time, but still managed to startled the others with a casual, "I will do some of my own research," as she breezed out of the room.


	7. Chapter 7

As Coran, Hunk and Pidge went over how human minds worked an idea formed. 

“What if we tried to rebalance his brain waves?” Pidge asked. 

Coran looked thoughtful, “We could try a calming rebalance with the mind meld headband. What are the correct wavelengths for relaxation?” 

“We would need to use alpha waves. Once we get him relaxed, we can try to get him into a deep sleep. It will help him heal as well as give us a chance to make sure the reset works.” Hunk volunteered.

 

Not long after Coran was hooking each of them into the mind meld device. "We realized that this might be the best way to get the wavelengths we needed. If everyone will just relax for a moment. Ah there we are."

After a few moments of silence, unbeknownst to each other, their minds began to wander. 

 

Hunk's anxiety was starting to get the better of him. 

 

Pidge was bored but worried. They needed to figure this out fast. Lance would hate being sedated. They needed to avoid that at all costs. 

 

Keith was going over how Lance had reacted. Pidge was right about the expression being the same as when Shiro was in the middle of a flashback. Lance had looked haunted. 

 

Shiro was still trying to come to terms that he had such an obvious tell when he had an episode. It was dumb, he knew. But the mix of vacant, horrified and anguished made him self conscious. Did he really look like that? That expression on Lance, was beyond unsettling. 

 

          Coran was happy with all the details. Overall, the readings were similar. The more distressed they got the bigger the difference was, which was to be expected. This meant Coran could develop a way to keep Lance's mind within these patterns. Coran called an end to the experiment after several more minutes and the paladins went to check the data. Pidge added in the range for alpha waves and deep sleep. 

 

 

          That hallucination was the most horrible nightmare he had ever experienced. Lance was still shaking. He curled up on his bed shivering. The thought of the Castle being attacked again was horrifying enough. Sendak’s attack still tormented him. The mere concept that he could lose the others was beyond dreadful to him. The idea it could be Hunk or Pidge...that was devastating.  Between the memory of the nightmare he had after the pod and this hallucination, he had been sent beyond terrified. His blood felt like icy fire every time a scene crossed his mind and it wouldn’t stop. Hunk getting shot down. Pidge trying to protect him. Blood everywhere. Hunk’s face as he lay in the puddle of blood. The sword running Pidge through. He desperately tried to shake these images. His body began shuddering, muscles contracting painfully, then releasing suddenly. He unconsciously whimpered in pain.

A knock on his door startled him badly. He was able to finally snap out of those horrible thoughts. He stumbled over to the door, only to find a grinning Pidge and Hunk. "We think we can help. Come on!"  

They weren't mad he had kept this from them? He didn't get a chance to ask as they dragged him into the medbay. Hunk pointed to the table as Pidge ran over to get one of the mind meld devices. Panic started to crawl up Lance's throat. He didn't want them to see!  

There must have been something in his expression, because Coran just smiled gently at him. "We are only going to read your brain's wavelengths. It's possible we can realign them to a more reasonable form. You should have mentioned this sooner, my boy.”

          Lance drooped at the comment. He was unable to meet anyone else's gaze. He knew he let them down, but he didn't think it was going to get this bad. He gave his head a sharp jerk in agreement trying to hide the tears. Coran placed the headset on him and motioned for him to lay down. Hunk sat by his side and squeezed his arm with a small smile. Pidge and the others clustered around the computer as the diagnostic began to run.

           The brainwaves were all over the place. Now that he was beginning to calm down, they were closest to Hunk's panicky ones. That gave them somewhere to start from. Allura slipped up between Keith and Shiro and asked,  "Don't we have a scan of Lance from when the pod released him after the.... incident... on Arus? "

Coran hit a few buttons to compare that one to all the others. "It won’t be as accurate as the ones we just took. He was still under the cryopod's sedation." It did show a good range for where Lance’s deep sleep cycle fell.

Pidge overlaid all the samples and pointed out where the normal range fell. Coran sent a few feedback pulses to Lance. All it did was cause him to stiffen uncomfortably and let out a strangled gasp.

          Coran adjusted something on the panel and Lance relaxed. His brain waves settled down into a pattern that matched the others. After a few more adjustments and one final pulse, Coran was satisfied. “It looks like that will do it!” his eyes bored into Lance’s, “Please, let someone know if the effects start to wane. There’s no guarantee this will be a permanent fix.” 

Lance nodded solemnly at everyone’s earnest but pointed stares. He blinked slowly, suddenly feeling very tired. 

Pidge sent Hunk an excited look as he helped Lance up. “Come on buddy. You need to rest more if you want to heal quicker.” Hunk’s voice faded as they left.

PIdge and Coran looked triumphant. “It looks like the deep sleep part is working too. We’ll have to get one more scan after he wakes, but that should take care of them.”

“We still need to keep an eye on him for the cryosickness. I’m not convinced he isn’t experiencing far more symptoms. There’s also no telling how long this will stop the hallucinations.”  

          Pidge deflated at Coran’s comments. Shiro smiled encouragingly. “We’ll keep doing what we are. The biggest problem is the hallucinations. If we can get those under control, the rest is a bit easier to deal with. How much longer is this cryosickness going to affect him?”

          Allura spoke up, “We don’t have much information on humans with cryosickness. The youngest Altean that survived a mild case took six pheobs.” At the horrified expressions of the other Paladins, Allura continued, “I do believe Lance has a very minor case. I was trying to gauge his quintessence earlier. It is regenerating very nicely. If he’s willing to try, we can try to heal him with quintessence.”

“Princess!”

          “Coran, I’ve been doing a lot of research on this. The method is very straightforward. I can practice a bit, if someone else is willing to try. The Blue lion is willing to help. No one wants Lance to be ill that long.” She threw a pointed look at Coran, “We can’t risk him in the pod for at least four movements. Voltron cannot be disabled that long.”


	8. Chapter 8

          Lance was finally doing better. He wasn't having any more of those terrifying hallucinations and he was feeling fantastic. At least that's what he kept telling himself. He was able to sell that lie to the others easier than he thought. The tremors weren't very frequent or noticeable. His muscles ached more than he was used to and his vision would blur a bit. Coran had insisted that Lance take it easy after the mind reset. He still had a low grade fever that didn't want to break. It had been two days since they had done the reset. The first he had slept, waking only when Hunk brought him food. He noticed the tremors then. He kept focused, forcing his hands still.

          Pidge had come by later with Killbot Phantasm and they played a few rounds. "I'm so going to kick your butt this time!" Lance just smirked at her. He knew she had been mocking him from the tone but the words hadn't made much sense. He quickly managed to dodge and attack that hit her character. Then he laughed at her indignant squawk.

Pidge paused the game and sized him up. "Lance? I know you're sick of us asking, but how are you doing? We're all really worried. Coran scared all of us with the cryosickness talk. You would tell us if something was wrong, right?"

          Lance swallowed at the earnest look she gave him as she stared at him. He didn't want to worry them, but Coran kept insisting it was super dangerous if he didn't say anything and he really did have the cryosickness. It couldn't be that bad, right? Just then a shudder ran through his body. Pidge was there concern radiating off her. "Lance-"

 

          Alarms blared through the Castle. They looked up in confusion. They had landed on a quiet, relatively hidden, and from what the scan had said, uninhabited planet. Lance had felt terrible about the diversion, but the other were adamant. They needed him at full health. Especially if they planned on forming Voltron any time soon. He felt like Allura and Shiro had ganged up on him. The other three were just as immobile in their decisions. Coran only smiled and started telling him horror stories about cryosickness patients. Lance had finally, grudgingly, caved to their wishes.

          Pidge motioned for him to stay put, but the flat stare he gave her, made her nod resignedly. Lance grabbed his bayard as Pidge raced to get hers. They met in the hall and began to creep quietly down the hall, hugging the wall. Lance forced Pidge to stay behind him, ignoring her withering glare. The hall was empty and they slid to the next hallway. The sudden  silence from the alarms cutting out was deafening. Then sounds of fighting came from the dining room. Lance froze. Memories of the last hallucination echoed through his mind. Pidge started to push forward but he grabbed her arm, yanking her back.

"What the hell Lance! We need..." Pidge's angry hiss trailed off as she saw the stark terror in Lance's face. His vise like grip was making her arm ache, but the shivers that were racking his body were a bit more concerning. She gently laid a hand on his arm and whispered, "Lance? What is it?"

          Lance shook his head violently, wide eyes staring through her. "We...We can't go in there! It's..It's going to be..horrible. We need to find Hunk! I need to keep you both safe!" The level of frantic energy he had was rising with each word he spoke. It made Pidge want to flee with him and hide far away. He may have been out of it lately, but this spoke of a sureness that frightened her.

"We need to help the others. They need backup."

          Lance shuddered again and closed his eyes for a moment. Once he opened them, there was steely glint in them. It only added to the overall look of terrified determination, that she had never seen before. "Fine. But you follow my lead and stay back! We get close, do what we can to help, but finding Hunk takes precedence."

Pidge wanted to argue but that expression was so foreign on Lance's face that she agreed quickly. They readied their bayards and peeked around the corner.

The room was empty. Lance almost collapsed in relief. Pidge shot him a concerned look again but he only flashed her a quick smile. "We need to get to the bridge. Keep an eye out for Hunk!"

 

          Pidge was confused. Why was Lance so adamant about finding Hunk? Why had he been so convinced that something horrible had awaited them around the corner? She kept pace with him, scanning the halls. Lance noticed Hunk first. He had just ducked out of the kitchen, food goo splattered on his shirt.

"Hunk! Are you ok?”

Hunk's pinched expression smoothed out a bit as he whispered, "Lance! Pidge! You guys are alright! Where have you been?"

"We were hanging out when we heard the alarms. What's going on?" Pidge hissed back.

"I'm not sure. I was going to start dinner, but then the alarms started and I heard fighting. I can't find the others."

Lance had been quiet the whole time, struggling to keep the tremors in check. He was about to urge the others back, when several shouts of pain echoed down the hall. Everyone stiffened.

Hunk was quietly fearful, "That-"

"Sounded like Keith and Allura. Yeah, I know. Let's go," Lance cut him off before Hunk could get too worked up. His face hardened again as he muttered, "I've got a bad feeling about this."

          Pidge smirked, "Okay Han, let's go see what's going on." She crept forward only for Lance to yank her back once again. She whirled on him, absolutely livid,  "What the HELL Lance! That's the second time you've done that!"

Lance wore the same unsettling expression as he stared her down, biting out, “Just stay behind me and trust me! I don’t.....Just, c'mon."

          Pidge scowled but complied. Hunk threw a uneasy glance at the two of them. “Is everything-” Lance sushed him of with a sharp hiss as he motioned for them to move forward. Pidge just shrugged and motioned for Hunk to follow. Hunk readied his bayard as he squinted suspiciously at the both of them. The shouts got louder the further down the hall they went. Lance peeked around the corner and froze. Pidge kept walking as she tossed him another annoyed glance, Hunk close on her heels. His arm shot out blocking them from moving and just stared.

          A sharp yell of, “We don’t want to hurt you!” was followed by the sound of weapons clashing. Hunk and Pidge took a reflexive step back at the sight before them. Allura and Keith cautiously circled a crazed looking Shiro, his arm fully activated.


	9. Chapter 9

Keith wasn’t exactly sure what happened. One minute, he and Shiro were walking down the hall chatting with Allura. The next, Shiro was attacking them.

There was a wild, slightly vacant, look in his eyes.  _ Like he’s trapped in another flashback _ , Keith noted as he dodged another swing. He couldn't figure out what had set Shiro off. 

          Keith blocked the next swing with his dagger. Allura had managed to kick Shiro off balance while he swung at Keith again. With a grunt, Shiro managed to twist himself around, to jab at where Allura's head had been. She had dropped down to sweep his feet out from under him. 

          Keith took a swing at the side of Shiro's head. He hoped he was out of the peripheral, but no such luck. Shiro weaved to the side as he took a step back. It was enough for him be caught by Allura’s foot, causing him to stagger. He found his balance quickly, kicking out at Keith. That made Keith almost trip over Allura. During the momentary confusion, Shiro swung his Galra arm at Keith. He managed to block it, but missed the punch from the human arm and tried not to double over. 

          Allura surged forward from the other side, with a swift blow to Shiro’s side, forcing him to slow his attack on Keith. She jumped back as Keith dodged to the side. Then they started to circle, taking jabs when possible and hoping to knock him out. Shiro's eyes widened when he figured out what they were doing. His moves got more controlled and swifter, like a caged animal looking for the best way to escape. 

          His expression became harder as he began to mumble to himself, "I don't want to kill them. They haven't done anything wrong. I hate this. Why is it like this? Kill or be killed. So stupid. Too many innocents...” For a moment it looked like his eyes cleared, then a frenzied desperation returned and his movements resumed their deadly pace. “But if I don't... they'll take me to her... I can't go back!"  
  
Allura landed a fast jab to his side, as Keith blocked a flurry of blows. The clang of his dagger against the Galran arm was grating. There had to be a way to bring Shiro out of this flashback!   
  
"Shiro please snap out of it!  We don't want to hurt you!" Keith begged as he tried to block another punch. This time Shiro feinted and the Galran arm swung toward Keith's stomach. 

 

          Allura yelled, racing forward to tackle him. Suddenly, a crackle of energy ran down the arm. Their eyes widened as they saw Pidge's bayard, surgically placed at the junction of the arm and prosthetic, rippling with energy. Shiro shuddered several times until he began to fold in half. Pidge released the current and retracted her bayard.  His arm had deactivated, but looked like it was completely discharged. Keith dropped down next to Shiro and checked his pulse. He lay almost motionless, the faint rise of his chest proving he was still alive.

Pidge, looked like she wanted to puke, faint or both, stammered out, "Did I....Is he...Is he-"   


"He's alive." The relief was palpable in his voice.

"It looks like the arm took most of the damage. That was a very good idea." Allura tried to be encouraging, but shock rang through her words.

 

          Pidge was at a loss. It hadn't really been her idea. She had charged her bayard but hadn't been able to force herself hurt Shiro. Then his arm was flying into what would have been a serious, if not deadly wound for Keith. Suddenly, a hand gripped hers, aiming it with amazing precision and with the lightest pressure, helped her fire it. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Lance kneeling down next to her. His face took on a sickly hue as he watched, hand never moving from hers, until Shiro crumpled. The instant she felt his hand release hers, she stopped the current and retracted it. 

“We….We need to get him to a pod and probably see about removing...the arm” Hunk suggested quietly, “We can figure out what happened after that.”

Keith began to try to lift Shiro. It was obvious that he was nothing but dead weight. Hunk and Allura took over. As they slowly made their way to the medbay Pidge finally asked, “What happened?”

Keith shook his head. “I’m not sure. We were just talking and then he was attacking us. He looked like he was in the middle of a flashback, but he was able to move.”

          “His arm started to pulse a reddish color before it happened. He looked like it hurt, but dismissed it as just a weird feedback. He said he would have you or Hunk look at it in a bit.” Allura added. Keith looked thoughtful, “I remember him saying that, but I didn’t see the arm change color.”

 

          Pidge perked up, “Let’s wait on the pod for a tick. The charge on my bayard wasn’t set that high. He should be fine. We aimed right where the prosthetic met his muscles at the very top. We were trying to just overload it. He got a decent shock, but nothing serious. Let me see the arm.” There were a few dubious expressions but Allura and Hunk complied, laying Shiro on one of the beds. Pidge carefully removed the top panel. Surprise painted her face. “Hunk! Take a look at this!”

Hunk leaned in and let out a squeak, “What in the world? That shouldn’t be possible. Those wires should have been fried!”

“I know! It looks like they are encased is some very fine Balmarian crystal. I need the tools, but I have a hunch,” Pidge said as she poked around a bit. 

“I have them over here. I had a few idea for adjustments that Shiro and I talked about. We were going to work on in a little later. They’re right next to your laptop.”

Pidge glowered at him, “I TOLD you not to touch my stuff!”

Hunk put up his hands in surrender, “You were supposed to be coming to help anyway. I was going to talk to you about it at dinner, but the alarms went off.” Pidge sent one more huff at him as she booted up the laptop.

          Allura and Keith stood there looking bewildered for a few moments. Allura gathered herself enough to send a quite message to Coran. Keith watched the others like a hawk. Lance grabbed a scanner. He was trembling. Now that the adrenaline had worn off, his body was protesting. He fought to try to suppress the larger tremors. Luckily, everyone was focused on Pidge and Hunk. His hands still shook as he did a quick scan, which showed that Pidge was right. Shiro was fine. He breathing had evened out and there was no damage. Lance remembered the jolt he had gotten from her bayard. It hurt, but it was over quickly. He breathed a small sigh of relief that his hunch had been right. Aiming the bayard at the very top of the prosthetic, disrupted the energy flow enough to short it out, but not enough to hurt Shiro. 

 

Pidge plugged a small cable into Shiro’s arm and began typing furiously. “Hunk, disconnect the secondary power conduit. I don’t want this booting before I’m ready.”

“Gotcha. What about taking the main power conduit from the charging port? I’m not sure if it has a safety primed and I’d rather not have it start powering it up.”

          “Just make sure it’s only the one for the weapons part.” Pidge continued typing, fingers flying in a blur, as Hunk did what she asked. “Now I just need to….There! Exactly what I thought! Someone activated a trojan virus. It looks...oh no, no, no… that’s….” Pidge went white enough for Hunk to wrap his arm around her, as if she was about to collapse. 

          Hunk peered over her shoulder, immediately looking  nauseous . The others crowded around. Keith and Allura looked lost but Lance paled a bit. “Does that say what I think it does? The program was going to make him-”

          “Yes. Why? Why would they do this? Why now?” Pidge was almost in tears, but very angry. Then she bitterly added, “Well at least we know for sure it wasn’t the charge from the bayard that caused him to collapse all the way.”

Keith looked frustrated, “What does it say?”

          Hunk and Lance exchanged a wary look. Pidge had returned to typing as fast as she could. Hunk finally cleared his throat, “It was a program that would cause him to kill. We were the ones around...so he targeted us.”

Keith and Allura looked sick. “It must have been in there for a while. He was mumbling about the arena. Is it possible-”

          “That it made him think he was back there? Probably. You said he looked like he was trapped in a flashback? Maybe it wasn’t a full kill code. It may have been enough to cause a flashback and heighten his fight or flight reflexes, so fighting seemed to be the only option.” Pidge’s clipped tone stopped the conversation dead. She looked up after a moment and smiled slightly at them. “I think I found a way around it. Just give me a few more ticks.” 

 

          After a few more clicks a beep sounded and the circuitry in the arm glowed white for a few moments. Keith and Lance watched Shiro closely as Pidge ran a few more tests, Hunk murmuring suggestions. Finally, Pidge nodded to Hunk, “Okay. Let’s start reconnecting everything, slowly.”

          Shiro’s arm whirred quietly, as it lit up a light blue. Everyone tensed. Pidge and Hunk slowly began reconnecting the conduits, keeping a wary eye on the connections. Keith and Allura took up defensive positions, just in case. Lance decided to lean against the foot of the bed, to help hide his trembling and keep him standing, while he continued to scan Shiro. Pidge placed the last connector with a small snap. After a few moments she placed the cover on his arm. 

“What did you do? It’s not that ugly purple anymore.” Keith’s question broke the silence.

          “I did some digging and was able to destroy most of the virus. I downloaded the whole thing, so I can look into the details later. I have what’s left in a continuous loop in a quarantine. I should have a full antivirus for it in a few varga. I took out any of the kill commands and anything that would trigger a flashback. How’s he doing Lance?”

 

          Lance jolted a bit at the question. He had zoned out and hadn’t realized it. He smiled at her to cover the dread that was stirring. With a flourish, he quickly checked the scanner. “He’s doing good now. There’s no injuries anywhere. It looks like he’s just in a deep sleep. Man, I could use a nap too!” He leaned a bit harder on the bed and set the scanner down. He shoved his hands into the jacket as well. He hoped no one noticed that he was shaking so hard, some of his muscles started twitching.

          “But why was the arm activated now of all times? We aren’t anywhere near a Galra outpost or base. We are in the middle of nowhere. I checked, it wasn’t on any sort of timer. It was deliberately tripped,” Pidge demanded.

          “That’s the more troubling thing. Why waste the element of surprise? We will have to prepare for a counter attack. Unless, they expected him to succeed, which again doesn’t make sense since we aren’t close to anything.” Coran mused, stroking his moustache deep in thought. 

Looking horrified Lance realized, “They didn’t waste it! It  _ is _ a distraction! They’re on the ship!” He materialized his bayard and jogged to the door. He learned against the frame and listened intently.

 

          Pidge let out a small yelp as she clicked on the video feed from the ship’s cameras. Half of them were dark, which caused her to hiss out a curse. Allura and Keith looked over her shoulder at the screen. “If we follow the pattern, they are close to the bridge.”

Lance risked a glance back, shaking his head, “They’re closer to us, probably near the kitchen. They took out those cameras to throw us off. ”

          Keith’s skeptical look made Lance scowl. Hunk quickly punched the trail into the map. Then compared it to the path with the destroyed cameras. “Lance is right. The next camera is down this hall. This is the one that leads to the kitchen. It’s easier to hug the wall down that hallway. The camera is a bit off center. I’ve been meaning to fix it.”

“How would they know that? Unless….” Allura looked aghast at the idea that Keith continued to fill in.

“Unless they were able to see through his eyes or memories. Can they do that?”

“I... I don’t know. I’d have to look at the code, but it seems possible.” Pidge looked miserable at the thought. 

“I think... they were able to…” Shiro’s voice was hoarse as he slowly sat up. 

          Coran handed him a water pouch, that he gratefully sipped as he continued, “I’m not sure how, but there were times where things went a bit hazy. Like there was fog around? It didn’t feel like I was really there. They wouldn’t last long, so I thought it was just from overworking myself. Whatever you did with that shock, really helped Pidge. I feel a lot clearer than I have for a long time.” Shiro ran his hand through his hair.  “I’m really sorry guys. I don’t really know what happened-”

“Shhhhhhh!” Lance waved them all quiet. He had heard a faint shuffling and what could only be a low curse. He motioned a bit to Pidge. 

With a nod, she punched up a new set of cameras. There was a sharp intake of air as they saw several dark spots. Then a blaster bolt hit the next on dead on. 

“They’re by the lounge,” Keith muttered as he started to slide past the group. Lance’s arm flew out and blocked his way. Keith glared ready to argue, but the odd look on Lance’s face made him pause.

          “No. They are going to round the corner here in a moment. We need to be ready. They are counting on the element of surprise. We need to be ready to attack first.” Lance turned to face Keith fully who, to his credit, only gave a minor flinch. 

 

Pidge tried to suppress a shiver. That same deeply intense, fearful expression was back on Lance’s face.    
  
“What do you suggest, Lance?” Shiro asked cautiously. Lance jerked his head a bit, causing them to squirm after a few seconds, under his scrutinizing stare. 

          “We need to get to a more open area. We’re sitting ducks here. If we can make it to the bridge, using a different way, we’ll be fine. If we were to take the direct one, we’d be walking into a trap. We’ll have to keep close together to avoid giving them any openings. Shiro, you and Hunk take the lead. Allura and Coran in the center. Pidge and Keith after them. I’ll bring up the rear, in case they catch on.” Lance forced his body to stay rigid. He could feel the pulse of his muscles twitching under his skin. A few shivers escaped, but he covered those the best he could, by gesturing with quick motions. He saw Coran and Pidge plotting out the best route. He risked another glance down the hall. 

“Okay, I think we have the best one. If we head down this hall, then around the lounge, cut through the dining room-”

 

“ **NO**!”


	10. Chapter 10

Everyone spun to face Lance. He was shuddering so hard he could barely grip his bayard, unadulterated horror written on his ashen face. “You... We... We can’t go through the dining room. There has to be another way.”

Confusion, from everyone except Pidge, greeted his statement. Pidge looked thoughtful as she hesitantly asked, “You had the same reaction before. What is so frightening about the dining room?”

          Lance stiffened, he had almost forgotten about earlier. He wasn’t sure how to talk his way out of it. "I...uh...hehhe"  he tried desperately to laugh it off. It was painfully obvious no one was buying the strangled, nervous, sound that escaped his throat. At their concerned looks he sighed. "Look I had this really horrific...nightmare...about something terrible happening in there. I would just really appreciate not having to go through there right now. Please guys?" He wasn't above begging at this point. 

          Hunk regarded him silently for a moment. It wasn’t like Lance to beg, then again, everything today had seemed unlike him. The expressions on the others showed they had come to the same conclusion. He shot a inquiring glance at Pidge, along with a small jerk of his head toward Lance. Pidge rolled her eyes at him and gave a small nod.

          "Okay. We can take this hall, then cut through the hall that leads to the training rooms, loop back around and take the side hall to the bridge." Pidge punched in the option. It was definitely more convoluted but it avoided the dining area completely.

Shiro watched some of the tension drain from Lance, "Let's get moving then."

 

          As they headed out, Lance attempted to walk backward. The uneasiness that was gnawing at him only grew. They rounded the corner to the ge to the training rooms only to find it blocked. Pidge typed another path in but each one was the same. With an apologetic look, Shiro said, "It looks like we have to follow the first path or head straight for the bridge"

Hunk was looking over Pidge's map. "It looks like that is blocked off too. How in the world did they manage that?"

          Lance swallowed hard. He knew this was going to end badly, just like before. He didn't want to entertain the idea that his hallucination was a vision or premonition. He couldn't handle that on top of everything else.

The group had already began to cut through the lounge. Suddenly, Lance ran forward. "Let me go first. I can take some of them out as we go. It should help"

Keith looked a bit dubious, "I thought the plan was for you to protect our backs?"

"No one has been following us! They've been purposefully leading us this way! The noises we’ve been hearing, was them leaving after blasting a camera"

"Alright guys, take it easy. Lance go ahead, but take Hunk with you. The more firepower we have to get rid of them the better."

Before he could argue, Hunk was mumbling objections. Lance took the chance and darted forward, slipping around a corner. He saw a mix of at least fifteen Galra and Sentries. Cursing slightly, he crouched, keeping as close to the wall as possible. He had to do this right. The first shot would give away his position. He tried to force his body to stop it's shaking as he lined up a shot at the biggest Galra. Even if that one wasn't the leader, he was the biggest threat. Lance took a deep breath and got ready to pull the trigger when his fingers twitched hard. The shot went wide and hit the wall next to the Galar's head. With another curse, he managed to get another off. This one hit the Galra in the shoulder. Not the best spot, it only enraged him.

The rest of the team raced past as soon as they heard the shouts of the Galra. "Take out as many as you can!" Shiro yelled through a flurry of weapons and blaster fire.

          Lance tried to shoot a few more times. He aimed for the Sentries. Even if the shots went wide they could still do some damage and short them out. His fingers seized several time as he fought with his body. He laid on the ground to try to help relieve the muscle spasms and give himself a better chance of keeping his body still. As he kept firing he tried desperately to ignore the shouts of his friends and the memory of his hallucination? Vision? Premonition? Whatever it was, he had to to stop it from coming true!

 

          It seemed like it took forever, but he managed to fall into a rhythm while dealing with the wide shots. He saw Allura take out several sentries. Shiro was locked in combat with the, rather surprised, larger Galra. Lance took some dark pleasure that his shot caused enough damage for the Galra to  favor it. That was giving Shiro a good advantage. Pidge wrapped her bayard rope around a Sentry and twirled it around to take out several more, leaving them in a smoking heap. Keith was battling the another Galara officer. Coran was fighting off a smaller one. Then he heard a pained scream from Hunk, that made him freeze. Looking over he saw Hunk's leg bleeding.

          Lance tried harder to control his hands and aimed at a Sentry that was getting ready to fire at Hunk again. He timed it just right and began to press the trigger, when his finger seized up. This time it lasted half a second, but it was enough for the blast to fire a second too late. The sentry went down, but Hunk was already on the ground, blood starting to pool around him. 

          "NOOOOOOOOOO!" Lance scrambled to get up, his body moving slowly and stiffly. He finally got his body moving and fired off some wildly random shots at the enemy's heads. He managed to take out two of the Sentries, holes blasted through the centers. Another shot landed on the Galra Coran was fighting, right through the knee. One of the final bolts hit the one Keith was fighting, right in the side.

Lance then skidded over to Hunk, to find that he was breathing, thank god! He had a clean shot through his arm and leg. It wasn't bleeding as badly as it appeared. “You’re going to be alright buddy. I’ll make sure of it,” he promised grimily.

          Lance took up a defensive position in front of Hunk. He tried to work with his tratious body again, struggling to get back into some sort of rhythm. He saw another Galra come out of nowhere, ready to attack Pidge. He lined up the shot and pulled the trigger. Lance was relieved to see the blast was flying true, until Allura twisted right into it. Horrified, he watched her go down, just as Pidge took a hit to her shoulder. The memory of his nightmare echoed across his mind, as he watched it unfold in slow motion, once again. Without realizing it, Lance began screaming, laying down a continuous stream of blaster fire. Shiro and Keith took advantage of the chaos to take down the Galra they were fighting. Soon there were only smoking remains and Coran was gripping Lance's shoulders, telling him it was over.

          Lance fell down sobbing. It was his fault. Hunk. Allura. Pidge. Dead. He killed Allura! It was his fault Hunk and Pidge were dead. He had missed so many shots that could have helped Shiro, Keith and Coran. They were already showing signs of where his blaster fire had grazed, or even hit them! He was such a failure. 

          Without warning, his whole body seized painfully, as every muscle contracted simultaneously. He couldn't breathe. He barely heard the concerned shouts. He deserved this. He deserved this and so much worse. Once his muscles relaxed, he wheezed out, "Take care of them. They need the help. Not me." Then darkness claimed him.


	11. Chapter 11

          Shiro was shocked. He had never seen Lance so frightened. He could tell the others were as taken aback as he was. If the dining hall was that terrifying to him, they would do their best to avoid it. It became obvious, exactly how detailed of a map their enemies had. Guilt and nausea clawed at him. Hallway doors were jammed shut, locks melted. They were forced to retrace their steps numerous times. The closer to the route that would take them through the dining hall they got, the more agitated Lance grew. When it became obvious it was the only option, Lance insisted on going first. Shiro tried to argue but Lance only ran on ahead. Then there was the sound of his bayard firing and several curses. Everyone ran to where he was crouched. Seeing the crowd of Sentries and Galra made his blood run cold. He shouted for everyone to take action and dashed into the room.

          Shiro didn’t recognize the Galra he was fighting, but that didn’t mean anything. He obviously knew Shiro. “You failed again! We will kill all of them where you failed to. This Castle will be a great prize. To return to Zarkon with all of the Lions, the paladins dead and return you to Haggar, will grant me extremely high favor. Perhaps a promotion to General. Pity your mission failed. Then again, it would have deprived us from the glory of this battle.”

          Shiro only grunted, blocking the strikes. He noticed the Galra was favoring one side, where it looked like a blast shot had landed. Shiro pressed that advantage as much as he could. Faintly he heard Lance yell, but then there was some calmer murmuring, so he dismissed it. They shared a few more blows, until an unearthly, anguished scream tore across the room.

          Shiro saw Lance racing across the room, a stream of blaster fire indiscriminately mowing across everything. He shifted as a blast caught his outer arm, and swung around to force the Galra directly into the line of fire. It didn’t take much. All of the Galra were taken by surprise at the outburst, eyes wide with fearful admiration. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Coran and Keith do the same. The Galra Coran had been fighting took a direct hit to the back and crumpled. Coran darted over to Lance, trying to calm him, as Keith and Shiro finished.

          Keith’s Galra was heavily wounded and lost consciousness after a final blow. It looked like he had taken the brunt of all of the blaster fire. Shiro jabbed his arm at the Galra, intending to force him into the back. The Galra merely smiled, grabbed Shiro’s arm and ran himself through, whispering “Vrepit Sa”.

Shiro was mortified. He knew that had been a calculated move to add to his guilt and try to break him. Or force more flashbacks, maybe even trigger that virus? Shiro’s head hurt from all of it. Keith laid a hand on his shoulder, “It wasn’t your fault. He was trying-”

“I know. It doesn’t make it any easier. I’ll  worry about it later, right now-” Shiro ignored Keith’s disapproving glare as they both heard Coran trying to sooth Lance’s hysterics.

          They moved closer, only to see extreme guilt flash across Lance’s face at the sight of them. His eyes darted to Shiro’s arm, Keith’s side and Coran’s face. Shiro followed the look to find that they had all suffered some blasts. Suddenly, Lance’s body seized. It only lasted a few ticks, then he relaxed. His eyes held an accepting realization, as he whispered for them to take care of the others. Coran checked for a pulse and nodded. They turned to the others. Dread descended on all of them. Allura, Hunk and Pidge were crumpled on the ground, blood surrounding them.  


 

          Lance woke up cold again. He staggered forward, into warm arms. Blinking, he saw Keith and Shiro holding him up. Why was he alive? The others needed to be in the pods not him! It was only going to make this stupid cryosickness worse! His knees buckled. Keith and Shiro guided him over to a bed and helped him sit down. He was too afraid to look at them. They were probably furious at him. He had killed Hunk, Pidge and Allura. Coran was going to hate him. He killed Allura. One of the only other Alteans. Coran was going to toss him in an airlock and jettison him. He completely deserved it.

          He had killed his best friends. He loved them both so much. His heart clenched at the thought. Hunk had been nothing but amazing to him. He was like a brother. They had been almost inseparable. He had been there to soothe Hunk’s anxiety. He had helped to soothe Lance’s insecurities. The thought of Hunk never giving him a hug again, was agony. Lance had never gotten the chance to introduce Hunk to his family! His mother would have loved Hunk! The recipes they would have come up! Who was going to make the food? Coran’s idea of food was terrible.He and Pidge always had enjoyed snarking about Coran’s food.

          Pidge. They had an awkward start, but she had become someone he valued deeply. He had grown so fond of her. Almost like a sister but different. She challenged him in so many ways. He never told her. He knew she would just laugh and tell him it must not be much of a challenge. He treasured the time they spent together. Who else was going to play video games with him? Snark at him for being stupid?  How would she find her family? Oh god. What would he tell them? He would make sure he found out what happened to them... for her. Then he’d face her mother’s wrath. It was the least he could do. He would take a shuttle and leave. He had already destroyed Voltron.

          He didn’t realize how hard he was crying, or that the others were talking to him. When a hand touched his arm, he jerked back so hard, that he almost toppled off the bed in surprise. Looking up all he saw were worried faces. That only made his tears fall faster. He couldn’t bear the concern radiating off them. Shiro, Coran and Keith stood around him and Coran was talking softly. Taking a few deep breaths, Lance struggled to compose himself trying to slow the tears. He couldn’t look at them. He didn’t deserve their concern.

“Lance my boy, it’s alright. You must calm down. We need to see how you are doing.” Coran’s voice was gentle, but firm. It only made Lance want to cry harder.

“Whhhy. Why doe-does it maa-matter? Why d-d-did you save me? I-I-I...It’s my fault.”

“What do you mean? How could it possibly be your fault that the Galra invaded the ship?” Keith sounded incredulous.

Lance’s eyes became as wide as saucers as he stared at Keith. Was he kidding? How in the universe was this **_NOT_** his fault? Half the team and Allura were dead! But Keith looked too surprised to be mocking him and Coran hadn’t sounded angry.

          Shiro interrupted before Lance could say anything. “Coran needs to check you to make sure most of the cryosickness is gone. You should have told us it had gotten that bad.” Lance nodded slightly, tears falling quickly again. He tried to prepare himself for the anger and disappointment he knew was coming.

Coran moved and ran the scanner over him, then hummed with approval. “The rest will be easy enough to deal with. Once Allura wakes, we can get started.”

          Lance let out a harsh laugh. “Allura is going to heal me? How is she going to do that? She’s dead! Hunk! PIdge! They’re all dead and it’s my fault. Why aren’t you yelling at me? Why aren’t you upset? You can’t pretend that everything is fine! I know I was an idiot! I couldn’t shoot straight. I let them get hurt and I can’t do anything to fix it. I ruined Voltron. I ruined any chances of getting Hunk home. The only thing I can possibly do is try to find Pidge’s family….The worst part was I saw it happen and I couldn’t change it.” Lance’s voice trailed off in the shocked silence that followed.

“Lance. They’re fine. They’re in the pods. No one’s dead,” Shiro said gently.

 

           Lance stared at Shiro uncomprehendingly as Coran continued. “Once you passed out we were able to check on the others. Hunk was the worst off. Those were clean shots though, so he will be fine. Pidge came to just after everything. She had a fairly large hole in her shoulder, but it missed anything important. Allura was hit along her side and came to just before Pidge. They were able to get into the pods themselves. We had to carry you and Hunk. They should be out of the pods shortly. We were concerned for you the most. Muscles seizing like that isn’t a good symptom. How long had that been going on?”

          Lance blinked, “A few days. It wasn’t that bad! It only got really bad earlier today...I...I didn’t want you to worry. I almost cost everyone their lives though. When I saw Allura twist right into my blast, my heart stopped. Wait! How did the blast hit her side? I saw it go right through her chest!”

Coran shook his head, “I believe that the cryosickness made you see things that weren’t really true. You said you dreamed the events earlier. I think you saw what you expected, not the truth. It was another hallucination.”

Lance frowned and quietly admitted. “It wasn’t really a dream. It was a hallucination. The one from a few days ago.”

“That explains why you were so scared of the dining room. The hallucination overlapped what really happened. The stress also increased the symptoms. We’re lucky that you didn’t hallucinate or seize more. Regardless, you should have said something,” Shiro added.

          “To let the Glara that hacked your brain that we were down a person? That I was still unreliable? No thanks! I did the best I could! It wasn’t easy pretending everything was fine! Trying to keep it together after seeing you fight Keith and Allura? Struggling to keep my stupid body in check while we tried to find those Galra? Knowing that I couldn’t stop ANY of this from happening? Fighting with my body to fire any sort of decent shots? Watching as everything fell apart? This stupid cryosickness was supposed to go away, not make me useless!” Lance stopped his tirade panting, as he realized what he said. Shiro looked like Lance had sucker punched him. Lance felt terrible. He hadn’t meant to dump all of that on Shiro. “Shiro, I’m-”

          “No, you’re right. It would have been a terrible thing for them to find out. You still could have told Coran. It doesn’t matter now. Let’s check on the others,” Shiro straightened. Keith’s face was pinched in anger, but it wasn’t clear who it was directed at. Coran shook his head sadly, but turned to the pods as they began to whir.

           Allura staggered forward as Coran caught her. She blinked a few times. Shiro helped her over to a bed and Keith handed her a water pouch. The four of them started a low conversation, leaving Lance alone by the pods.

          A few moments later Pidge stumbled into Lance’s arms. He simply stared at her. He was so certain she had died. Yet here she was, amber eyes blinking away the haze of the pod, skin gradually warming as he held her. “Lance?” Her voice was scratchy but it sounded wonderful to him. He hugged her tightly, only to find he was crying again.

          “You’re alright! I thought….I thought you really died this time. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t able to help you like I should have. My body wouldn’t listen to me. I couldn’t fire my stupid bayard properly,” he babbled at her. He knew it was too much and it didn’t really matter now, but he felt that he needed her to understand.

Pidge rubbed circles on his back, “It’s okay. I’m fine. I was far more worried about you. I’ve never seen you that scared or determined before. Everything is going to be okay. We’ll figure it out.”

Lance gave a watery laugh, “C’mon. You need some water and to sit.” He scooped her up to a squeak of protest and sat her down on the bed he had been on. Coran handed her a water pouch.

 

“We need to finish healing you Lance,” Allura stated, trying to sound firmer than her voice allowed.

He shot her a disbelieving look. “No offence Princess, but you just got out of a pod. You should rest for a while.”

“We have a few more varga before Hunk is due out of the pod. I suggest we all go get some rest. We can continue in the morning,” Coran supplied firmly.

“Wait! What about -” fear crept into Lance’s voice.

“Our guests have been taken care of. They succumbed to their injuries. We are all quite safe now.”  

          Coran was far too calm for Lance, but he was in no position to argue. He wistfully stared at the pod that held Hunk. He didn’t want to leave. What if something happened while he was asleep? He would never forgive himself if something else happened to Hunk. What if the pod let him out too early? Hunk would be so scared!

As if sensing Lance’s struggles Coran added, “I made certain that everyone was in an appropriately programed pod. Sleeping on the floor here is not going to help. You all need rest. In your own beds.”

          Pidge looked like she was ready to argue, but caught sight of Lance. He looked so lost and uncertain, guilt tinged his eyes. She reached over and dragged him into a hug. “Coran, what if we slept on these beds? They are close enough that if anything happens, we’ll be here. It’s not the floor!”

Coran only sighed and nodded, “Lance, come help me fetch some bedding!”

          They returned after a few minutes to the others talking. Lance guessed that Shiro and Keith had filled the girls in on everything. Shiro at least, looked far more relaxed. They settled in for the night. The beds weren’t very comfortable, but they were better than the floor.

 

          Lance tossed and turned for a little while. Then Pidge climbed into his bed and cuddled close. “This has been an overwhelming week. Today was by far the worst. I’m worried about Hunk too, but Coran’s right, we need sleep. No one blames you. You know that right?”

          Lance nodded and hugged her tightly. She propped herself up on her elbow and looked him in the eye. “I’m serious. No one blames you for anything, except not letting us know how sick you were. Hunk’s not going to blame you either. You did an amazing job trying to stay in control. You’re exhausted from it. Please sleep.”  

          Lance closed his eyes as tears leaked out. He was so incredibly _done_ with crying. Pidge squeezed him around his waist as she laid back down. He breathed in the scent of her hair. This was comfortable. He didn’t deserve it, but it made him happy. Soon, the sound of her breathing and warmth from her body, helped lull him to sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

          The sound of typing and low conversation lured Lance out of the best sleep he had, since this whole thing had started. Sitting up slowly, he rubbed his eyes, stifled a yawn and focused on the conversation. Pidge was talking with Shiro and Allura. Keith was helping Coran calibrate another scanner. 

          “I ran several tests on the copy of that virus with the new program. It looks like it’ll work. Morning sleepyhead.” Pidge threw him a quick look, then continued without missing a beat. “So, the antivirus should wipe out the problem. Keith and Coran are ready in case anything goes wrong. Remember, if things DO go wrong, Coran will sedate you. We can’t afford another battle right now. We only have a few varga until Hunk wakes up. I’d rather not have more of us in pods when he does.” The humor left her face, “ I really hate that we have to take that precaution.” 

The gloom around her didn’t lift when Lance exaggerated a yawn and padded over. Draping himself over her shoulders, he studied Shiro for a moment. “It’ll be fine Pidge. You forgot to add me into that plan.” 

Allura shook her head. “No they didn’t. We need to see about healing you the rest of the way from the cryosickness.”

“What? No. I’m not going to worry about anymore healing, until Hunk is out of the pod and better! The least I can do is help you guys with Shiro.”

          “Allura is right Lance. We need you healed and back in top shape. Pidge, I’m confident things will be fine. If not, we have a solid plan. Let’s get started.” Shiro gave a reassuring smile to Pidge. Coran took up position behind Shiro’s left shoulder. Keith sat across from Pidge, watching Shiro carefully.

Lance started to protest, but Pidge interrupted, looking at him earnestly. “Look I need to concentrate. I know how worried you are. Please, let Allura help you. If something goes wrong, we’ll need you as backup.”

          He swallowed and nodded, letting Allura guide him back to the bed he had slept on. She motioned for him to lay down. As he did, he stole a glimpse of Hunk in the pod. The sight made the guilt flood back. He sagged onto the bed.

 

          “Now, from what we can tell, your body is mostly healed. This time in the pod fixed the majority of the problems. There are still some possible….mental, issues.” At the sharp look he gave her, Allura added hurriedly. “I need to know a bit more about that vision you had. We have to be certain that what Coran attempted was a permanent fix.”

          Lance frowned. “I don’t really know what it was. It seemed like a hallucination. Then it started to come true. I...I couldn’t. I felt like I was watching a replay. Nothing really changed.” He felt himself get more anxious and upset, as the memories threatened to crash over him again.

Allura squinted thoughtfully, “It was exactly the same?”

“I don’t want to talk about this right now. It’s really hard to remember. Everything is jumbled together.”

          Allura simply nodded, “May I try some Altean healing? I suspect some of the mental issues had to do with your bond to Blue. It seems the previous Blue Paladin had a mild case of cryosickness. There was a note about a vision, but no follow up. I spoke with Blue and she is willing to help heal you.”

          Lance stared at her. His bond to Blue gave him visions? What was happening? First he had an infection. Then it was his appendix. Then it was some crazy cryosickness. Now it was psychic visions from his Lion? What next? Would he suddenly become Altean? Would Blue give him more psychic powers? He didn’t want that responsibility! Allura looked so sincere though. A hysterical giggle escaped as he shook his head, sitting up and scooting away from her.  “No thanks. This is..” another giggle escaped. 

  
  
          Pidge had finished removing the covering on Shiro’s arm and had plugged the cables in. The antivirus program download went smoothly. They collectively held their breaths as the program ran. After the scan signaled it was finished, Pidge ran it a second time. Once the second signal came, Pidge demanded. “How do you feel?”  

Shiro shrugged, “The same as before. I feel clear headed.”

“Now for the real test. Activate your arm.”

Everyone tensed. The arm lit up the same pale blue. Pidge stared at him expectantly as he deactivated it.

“No haze or fog anywhere. I know where I am and nothing feels threatening.”

          Keith made a quick lunge, but Shiro caught him. With an unimpressed look he said. “Did you really think that would work? You telegraphed exactly what you were going to do. I thought I taught you better than that?”

Keith huffed out a laugh, “He’s fine Pidge.”

“I agree completely. All of his reading are completely normal.” Coran sounded extremely pleased.

The sound of Lance’s giggles made them all turn to Allura. 

  
  
  


          She was looking impatient. “What do you mean ‘No’? You’re brain readings are starting to fluctuate into the area where hallucinations occur. We need to finish healing you. It is a simple matter of a small quintessence infusion. It won’t hurt and it will be over quickly.”

          “First, I’m crazy sick. Next, you tell me the bond with Blue is giving me some weird psychic abilities. Which, by the way, has happened before! Now, you want to use a quintessence infusion? Are you even sure it will work?” Uncertainty flickered across Allura’s face. “Oh, that’s great. Nevermind the fact that Hunk is STILL in a pod. I’m not doing anything until I see him out and healed!”

“Hunk will be fine. This will help you!”

“You don’t seem to know that for certain! I’ll be a guinea pig once Hunk is out! Not before!”

“Why won’t you let me heal you for Altea’s sake!! We can have this done before Hunk is out!”

“No! I’m not going to try this without knowing Hunk is okay!”

Shiro and Pidge got between them. They didn’t have to quite hold Lance and Allura back, but it was a close thing. Pidge took Lance’s hand and began rubbing circles on his back again. Shiro guided Allura away.

           Shiro sighed as he explained, “You aren’t going to get Lance to cooperate this way. Hunk’s like a brother to him. He’s too worried to think straight. He blames himself for not being able to keep everyone from getting hurt. Yesterday he was convinced he had killed you.” 

          At Allura’s startled expression, he continued. “Lance apparently saw you twist directly  into the path of his blaster bolt and it go right through you. His mind exchanged what happened in his memory for what really happened. He was absolutely convinced he had killed you. The same with Hunk and Pidge.”

          Allura paused, letting the information sink in and stared at Lance. She saw that Pidge had help soothe him. He was finally laying down, but looked far more drawn and exhausted, than she had ever seen. An idea struck her as she walked over. 

          “Lance, I’m very sorry. I had no idea what you went through yesterday. I was too harsh. I understand your concern for Hunk. I am just as concerned for you. As is Pidge and the others. I do believe this healing will help. We can start with something small though. Perhaps just replenishing your energy? That way when Hunk is out of the pod, you can spend some time talking?”

          Pidge squeezed his hand. “Hunk will be pissed if you don’t at least try. He’d want you to get better. Even if it was only a little. Besides, I’ll stay right here and make sure Allura doesn’t try anything too suspicious.” Pidge winked. 

Lance chuckled. “Fine. As long as you promise to kick her butt if anything goes wrong.”

“I think the others would help in a heartbeat.”

Lance smiled faintly, “Alright Allura, you win. Let’s see if this minor healing works.”

          Allura sighed in relief. She sat at the head of Lance’s bed, hands close to either one of his temples, eyes closed. Pidge squeezed his hand gently as he closed his eyes. A faint, white, light began to glow around Allura’s hands. Lance looked like he had drifted off to sleep. Allura began to frown slightly. The glow got a bit brighter. Pidge was watching closely. She clasped her other hand around his and gave another gentle squeeze.

          Shiro and Coran had retreated to Hunk’s pod. Keith had slipped out to get some food and water pouches ready. Hunk stumbled into Shiro and Coran’s grip a few moments later. They helped him sit down as Keith returned and handed him a water pouch. Coran quietly explained what Allura was trying to do. Shrio scanned Hunk and nodded approvingly at the results. Hunk finished his water and stood up. At the surprised looks, he only smiled. “You know how hopeless Lance can be. It’s not fair to Allura and Pidge to be the only ones to try to convince him.”

          Hunk slid into the seat across from Pidge. She looked up and smiled in relief. He took Lance’s hand in both of his and squeezed lightly, as Pidge echoed the movements. Allura’s face cleared, a faint smile playing around her lips. 

  
  


          Lance was drifting. There was a gentle white light and the faint traces of blue. He tried to focus on it but his mind kept wandering back to Hunk. Would he be ok? What if he woke up and no one was around? What if he never woke up? 

          The light changed to a pale blue. He felt Blue trying to soothe him. He was too scared though. What if he got deeper visions? What if they were all so horrible? What if he couldn’t change anything? He lost Hunk and Pidge! He didn’t want to relive that again! That had been torture. Seeing what was going to happen and not being able to alter very much.

A pulse of faint green seeped in. Pidge. She was safe. The pod had healed her. Hunk was healing right now.

          Blue purred in his mind. It had been the cryosickness that caused the visions. If he worked with them, Blue could show Allura how to fix it. His fears spiked at the thought of doing more to mess with his mind. The reset Coran had done still made him uneasy. Blue snuggled him, reminding him that Coran was working with limited abilities. Allura and Blue would be able to work with him directly. Blue would make sure nothing would go wrong. 

          Lance’s doubts began to rise again. Then a warm, golden glow flowed over him.  _Hunk_. Hunk was _safe_. A relieved happiness filled him. Hunk must be doing better and out of the pod. Blue nudged him playfully as deep emerald green rippled along. Everything was fine. They were worried though. He really should let everyone help. Lance relaxed as the gold, green and blue energy swirled around him, like waves gently cresting. White energy encased everything as he drifted off to sleep.

  
  


          Lance woke up feeling content, warm, safe and loved. Blearily, he sought out the source. He was on the floor on a large pile of blankets and pillows. Startled he blinked harder to clear his vision. Hunk was curled protectively around his right side.Happiness filled him. Hunk was better. He was out of the pod. He was safe. Lance could feel how warm he was. Then Lance noticed Pidge was curled just as protective on his left. Allura was sleeping next to Hunk. Shiro and Coran were snoring slightly near his head. Keith was curled below Pidge. He was overwhelmed by the show of affection. They felt he was important enough to cuddle like this? Even Keith and Shiro? Maybe everyone had just fallen asleep around Hunk and Pidge. Maybe- 

“Go back to sleep you idiot. Everyone loves you.You’re worrying louder than Hunk.” Pidge mumbled sleepily, squeezing his arm. 

“Heyyy. I’m not worrying. Go to sleep Lance.”  Hunk grumbled back.

Lance felt like he should be alarmed by what just happened. Then Blue purred to remind him how comfortable, warm and tired he was. Sleep claimed him once more.

**Author's Note:**

> DEEP Thanks to:  
> [HariScarlet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HariScarlet/pseuds/HariScarlet)  
> [GrapieBee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrapieBee/pseuds/GrapieBee)  
> [GlassAlice](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlassAlice)  
> [Lokii](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lokiitama)  
> [Val_Creative](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Val_Creative/pseuds/Val_Creative)  
> [Engineer104](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Engineer104/pseuds/Engineer104)  
> For beta work, kicking my butt, advice and just being awesome help. I don't know what I would have done without you guys!


End file.
